Allison Aguilar

The City College of New York

160 Convent Ave, New York, NY 10031

[email protected]

October 19, 2025

 

Dear Professor Franco,

 

I am submitting the following essay titled, “Language Difficulties “ for my Freshman Composition class. This essay represents more than a personal story, it shows the journey of someone finding confidence in their own voice and cultural pride. Writing the following essay has allowed me to reflect on a moment in my life that has allowed me to understand the deeper meaning of communication and identity of oneself .

 

I describe my experience working at a summer school event where I was asked to help parents who speak Spanish. What began as an easy request turned into an important moment in my life. Despite being surrounded by both Spanish and English growing up, I was always anxious about speaking Spanish. I was constantly nervous about my speech, accent, and even grammar. I was concerned that people, especially fluent speakers, would pick up on all of my mistakes. After I was humiliated at an event at a family gathering and my attempts to speak Spanish were greeted with criticism rather than support, that anxiety grew even more intense. Writing about that experience reminded me of how easily self doubt can silence someone who is just trying to connect and make experiences.

 

I was afraid of making a mistake when I was asked to translate for parents that July morning, but I quickly learned that they were more concerned with someone being willing to help than they were with perfection. I learned from that experience that confidence comes from being there rather than being perfect. I overcame fears, practiced daily, and eventually gained the Seal of Biliteracy when my principal urged me to do so. That accomplishment came to represent my development from a shy girl to a person who was proud of her voice, culture, and determination.

 

Through “Language Difficulties,” I hope to convey to readers that confidence comes from trying, failing, and moving on despite one’s imperfections rather than from being perfect. Because I want people to see that it’s okay to make mistakes. I want my story to serve as a reminder that pride in our heritage and connection should never be limited by language and that it could be extended. Every attempt we make to communicate, regardless of how we sound or talk, is a step toward development and a sense of belonging.

 

In the end, this article reflects my development as a person and a writer. It demonstrates how language connects individuals, how strength may come from vulnerability, and how facing one’s fears can help someone realize their full potential. Reading “Language Difficulties” should not only be a story about learning Spanish, it should also be a story about gaining self-confidence, accepting culture, and developing a voice that won’t be silenced.

 

I appreciate you reading my essay and giving me the opportunity to discuss such a significant and intimate aspect of my life.

 

Sincerely,

Allison Aguilar

 

Allison Aguilar

Franco

ENJ 101 -Freshman Composition

September 17,2025

Language Difficulties

 

The smell of sweat and clorox was hitting my nose hard. The heat had spiked up and it was only 8 in the morning, even if my friends and I were inside the gymnasium you could feel the heat because there wasn’t any cool air inside. It didn’t help that we were all in dress shirts and pants because it was required. You see 10 students, with good grades, from our business course were asked to help out in summer school. It was a paid internship, and it was only for 5 hours from Monday through Thursday. It honestly seemed like a great way to get work hours and money, especially if we got to hang out so we said yes. On June 28th we all went to the school it was being hosted because we had to help all the kids and parents that were going to register. Our job was to help them register with an attendant and then help them figure out and print out their schedule. In our group only 4 of us could speak Spanish fluently, and since there were a lot of parents who didn’t speak English, we had to translate. In the beginning I was afraid to speak in Spanish because I was honestly self-conscious in how I sounded and pronounced words. Especially since my friends were well spoken in Spanish. “Ally, puedes ayudarnos con los padres, necesitamos que alguien más traduzca para que la línea pueda seguir adelante?” The line had started to round the corner of the school and currently 3 of my friends were doing their best but more people were arriving, so my friend had asked me to help. I knew I had to help out, but I was so embarrassed to go out and make a fool of myself if I said something wrong.

 

Before the registration day I had previously done a presentation in Spanish at my aunt’s house for a small event she was hosting. Let’s just say I made mistakes by pronouncing things wrong and mixing up words, it was not great. “Eso fue vergonzoso, ¿qué estabas pensando? Si hubiera sabido que no te lo tomarías en serio, no te lo habría preguntado. Solo vete mientras arreglo esto.” Honestly it hurt because I tried my best and I was just nervous. So, it kind of diminished some of the little confidence I had. Growing up speaking English more than anything labeled me as a “No Sabo” kid when speaking Spanish because I had a difficult time writing and speaking it. It didn’t help that my family often made fun of the way I pronounced or said certain phrases like repeatedly saying “son las una” instead of saying “son la una”. People often forget that immigrant children struggle with language not just outside but inside of their house as well. Yes, we must make sure we’re excelling at English, but we can’t forget our roots. We also must keep up with our birth language, because you don’t want to be the odd one out who can’t communicate with everyone in the family. So, I tend to speak Spanish at home only because I over analyze and exaggerate what my friends would say about the way I speak in Spanish compared to them.

At that point I was starting to feel that I wasn’t helping enough so I just said okay and started heading out to help parents. The first parent I helped was stressed because they had just arrived in the state from Guatemala and her daughter didn’t know any English. And she needed help finding a place that would teach her without her getting behind on her studies. With a quick Google search, I immediately found a place that would help her nearby. I gave the lady the phone number and address. “Gracias, no he podido encontrar a alguien que pueda ayudarme, así que gracias.” I was just relieved that I was able to help and that I didn’t mess that up because my nerves were high during that whole conversation. What I hadn’t noticed was that the principal was behind me. And through all my three years in school and conversations I had with him I had forgotten to mention that I can speak Spanish. He was so surprised. “Chiquita, I didn’t know you could speak Spanish so well. You know next year they are selecting the students for the seal of biliteracy you should join. You’ll have to do some presentations, but I know you’ll do well”. Somehow that surprised me because my parents always tell me I speak well but I’ve never heard it outside of them, so I don’t believe it much. But as I helped more parents, I gained more confidence, and I was proud of myself because I helped a lot, and I didn’t make any mistakes. The more time passed the more my nerves all disappeared. Once I entered school for 12th grade, I took my principles advice and tried out for the seal of biliteracy. Let’s say it was not easy. I had to do multiple presentations in both Spanish and English but I’m proud to say that I made it. You are reading from someone who has gotten the seal of biliteracy. Yes, I did struggle a lot, especially mentally, but I didn’t give up. I proved that I could speak both languages even when I struggled. So, no matter what anyone says, if you have enough courage, you can learn whatever you put your heart into.

Looking back  is not just a story about struggling to speak Spanish, it is a reminder that mistakes are a natural part of learning and communication. My experience taught me that speaking up matters more than speaking perfectly, and that giving myself permission to make mistakes helped me grow both personally and academically. In the future, this lesson will continue to guide me. Whether I become a leader, translator, teacher, or someone who simply wants to support others, I now understand the power of showing up with honesty, effort, and pride rather than fear. Being bilingual allows me to connect with more people, help my community, and honor my family’s roots. Most importantly, I am carrying forward the confidence I earned, confidence that will help me face new challenges without silencing myself. I no longer worry about sounding “wrong,” because I know my voice, in both English and Spanish, is part of who I am and where I come from, and it will continue to open doors in my future.